What is the purpose of life? I, like so many other people have struggled with this concept for much of my life. Because I believe our souls exist in a peace filled place of love, higher understanding, fun and bliss, where our souls come to this earthly plane to live a temporary human life, I can’t help but wonder why would our souls choose to do this? What exactly are our souls like before the limits of earthly incarnation? Why do our souls come to earth to long for love, feel pain, be challenged or be hurt when it can exist without experiencing these wounds? As a young child I prayed to understand, for myself, for others, and for the world, why people were made to suffer. Then when I came to understand that our souls made the choice to suffer an earthly existence and my confusion deepened, I gave more thought to my own life, my soul and the individuals in my life. I began to question why people were tempted by material things, relationships that hurt them, or why they sometimes feel obligated to make choices that go against what their souls know is best for them by sacrificing their soul’s very essence, be it out of fear or to please others. At times I felt a sense of clarity in regard to my thoughts, as if my prayers for answers were being answered. Other times my confusion deepened. Other times I felt I received a direct answer to a personal question with guidance to take a specific action in my own life. However, I often failed to make these changes because I was too frightened and insecure in my earthly existence. From my years of experience in personal practice I realize that I am not alone in this failure to take action. In fact many people feel stuck in their lives; as if they are in some type of sludge that is preventing them from experiencing peace, grace and harmony. And so, the question of why the soul chooses an earthly existence which is filled with so many intense challenges is not just intriguing on a spiritual level but it also extremely a personal question each one of us should ask about our own existence. What is my soul’s purpose during this earthly incarnation?
As those of you who know me understand the topic of the soul on earth is one that I am incredibly interested and excited about. It would take a few books for me to touch on all of my thoughts on this matter, however because this is a blog, I will keep this discussion short and focused. But do keep in mind there are many different scenarios and topics I will not mention here at all. To further explain the impact the concept of the soul’s purpose has had on my life (besides the name of my company) I would like to explain a bit about myself. In my personal life I have been doing deep soul work for at least 20 years through the study of many texts from more modern Self-help authors, texts of the Saints and doctors of the church, to spiritual and metaphysical texts. I have studied Psychology in college, taken Energy Medicine training and much more. Without doubt, however, the most transformational experiences for me have been when I was tested in life and experienced deep pain. It is this pain that made me search for answers. It was the pain that made me understand that there has to be more in our purpose than I knew of. It was through this pain that I came to realize that, as I call it now, there is more - In there! – for all of us. Yes, I had to go within to find some truth. It wasn't the truth I was expecting. It was not quite what I thought I would find. Talk about being tested! All the studying awakened something inside but until I had the courage to ask and truly listen was when I was enlightened to some things. I truly have come to realize that God does understand and has compassion for our pain but he also knows we are so much more than our pain.
To begin my discussion I will start with a quick look at being ourselves on earth and how our souls fit into our everyday lives. In our daily world there are times we feel good, have a sense of peace and then maybe we go to work and we lose our peace. You may get triggered by a co-worker, friend, family member, spouse, etc. It could be even a significant irritation that sets you off or a minor slight but the end result is the same; you no longer have your peace. Yes, we have all learned over our lives that it is hard to maintain high levels of peace in this world even if you have read 100 self-help books teaching about light and love, forgiveness and detachment and you get it! Yes, you study being peaceful and it’s like - “ Yes! Aha!” – and then you have to spend the holiday with a difficult parent or your in-laws and your peace goes down the toilet. So what does our soul have to do with all of this? Well our soul is trying to help us find peace which, as you can imagine, in this crazy world with all the people in it is not an easy job. The soul is also challenged by each and every one of us because we are human, and being human means we have our good points and we also have all the opposites that come with it. So while we are on the road to peace we have to battle our own impatience, bad feelings, prejudices etc. Believe it or not it is our own failings that often bring us to earth in the first place. The soul chooses an earthly incarnation to better us, to learn our negative traits and choose to align ourselves with peace. On the soul level we have all of eternity and no concept of time in a place of timelessness to work on this process which means we can experience earthly incarnations many times. Although earthly incarnation can serve many specific purposes, they generally help accelerate our soul evolution. It also assists souls in understanding or experiencing emotion and love.
Another concept to understand when considering the soul’s purpose on earth is the theory of Karma. The traditional meaning of Karma is; “ The sum of a person's actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences.” Karma can also be explained as fate or destiny as in - what you reap, you sow and so forth. There is also the common view that if you put out good, you will attract good and conversely, if you do bad, you will attract bad. I believe there is some level of truth to this although I also think we attract things to our life from the level of our heart meaning people with a “blocked/wounded heart/feeling” attract negative things. I feel that people get into trouble when they leave their heart space so to speak. For this blog, however, I am going to discuss Karma through the way it has been explained to me through the meditations of my soul. For the sake of not using a word with a lot of predetermined meaning attached to it I will use a different term; dysfunctional patterns or dysfunctional loyalties. I am also going to talk about more than individual karma. For example: Traditional karma is if you steal $20 that you see fall out of someone's pocket while they are walking in front of you and then a week later you lose $20. In this blog I am going to discuss Karmic patterns which are negative or dysfunctional patterns that have been perpetuated in family systems for generations. These patterns perpetuate over and over to the point that family systems accept them and it becomes normal to them when from a soul perspective or from the perspective of the outside looking in, it is quite easy to see how dysfunctional these patterns are. To those born into or living in these patterns their acceptance becomes unconscious because it is accepted so early in life. In other words, children living in abusive homes come to accept abusive treatment on some level be it mental, emotional or physical abuse.
Okay, so now let us take a look at a soul beginning an earthly incarnation. We are born a perfect beautiful soul. Each of us born has a Soul Purpose, the qualities that are our gift and uniqueness of our soul, and a Life Purpose, is the medium we choose to express this Soul Essence. Our purpose on earth could be anything, it could be to become a president of a non-profit corporation or to being a volunteer at a soup kitchen; no one purpose better than the other. Whatever our purpose, it is what makes us most peaceful and blissful. We are also born with other purposes and challenges to face. Thankfully, we all have within us all the strength and power we need to fulfill our soul’s purposes in this lifetime. For example, within us we are wired to disentangle ourselves from dysfunctional patterns and loyalties that drain our energy and spirit so that we can keep “on purpose.” When our soul gets to earth we are typically born to a mother and father and into a family. Over time the beliefs of this family system, including generational beliefs, get downloaded like a computer program into our energy system. As we live our life we are faced with challenges that often block us from our Life Purpose and Soul Purpose. When we get too caught up in these challenges or, off purpose, by setting our life aside to accommodate some type of dysfunction then we will feel depression, anxiety, and unease. This is because our soul does not care about the things that challenge us such as material things, dysfunctional relationships and other things we may be attached to. The soul exists in a realm of unconditional love and detachment. The soul’s primary concern is that we follow our Soul's Purpose in the most unconditional loving way we can. It does not concern itself with our loyalties to dysfunctional patterns or other earthly things and challenges that are not heavenly at all. Thank goodness we have spirit guides and loved ones who assist us. These special influences understand our earthly struggles, see the soul and encourage us to make changes according to Divine will.
Let’s now take a look at how the family can hinder the soul and its purpose. Our world has, for thousands of years, perpetuated generations of dysfunction. There are abuses in families such as is sexual abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse and spiritual abuse. There are also negative core beliefs that devalue our sense of worth and ability to feel loved such as a less than perfect child must be constantly criticized to improve. In cases of these types of dysfunctions, it often happens that the behavior continues from one generation to the next. The family members may know some or part of the stories that took place in the past yet they continue to become victims of the dysfunction, feeling helpless to change anything. Family members are often told not to discuss the problem and to just accept it as it is what it is. Often times we can see or feel how wrong our situation is, but we can do nothing about it. Eventually we have our own families and one day we come to realize we recreated these situations with our own spouses and children! And so it goes on and on! You know, we know on a conscious level that we want a better life, our soul comes to earth to evolve, and we have a worthy purpose to pursue, yet we get stuck in this flypaper of dysfunction.
So, why don’t we simply break away from the family dysfunction? Our belief system is a major reason. We have beliefs like “Blood is thicker than water “and “Keep the peace for the sake of the family”. These familiar family beliefs often keep us pressured to stay in dysfunctional cycles. To keep the peace we allow ourselves to be treated badly while enabling bad behavior in some of our family members. This is because you know if you stand up for yourself it is you who will typically be judged as the “bad one.” Other family members will guilt you into buying back into these dysfunctional patterns rather than changing or challenging a family structure. The threat that breaking free of family dysfunction may mean losing some if not all of your family is what keeps so many of us trapped in an unhappy and unfulfilling existence. But remember that not all families are dysfunctional and not all members within a family are dysfunctional. Like you, other members of your family may see the truth. Many of us have family members who are our biggest heroes and supporters. The point is this, for the generational dysfunction to end it has to start with change and that change has to begin with someone. That someone may need to be you. Yes, some of us are sent here to try to break the patterns. It starts with being born into dysfunction. As we age and struggle to free ourselves of it, we get stuck in the flypaper again and again and nothing gets accomplished. Eventually though, if you look deep inside yourself you will find the strength you need to free yourself. I know it sounds difficult but in time our soul can get through and initiate a change. It takes great courage and an ability to accept one's truth regardless of anyone's support. You can support yourself; you always have the power within to do that…always. For this blog I am not going to get into the dysfunctions which need to be challenged as the purpose of this blog is to offer some insight not to recommend dramatic change overnight. I am just asking for you to take some time to look at yourself, your life and your family and consider how these dynamics are impacting your life journey.
For the record, this blog is not about challenging family beliefs because I will say this....you will never win against a core belief plugged into an existing family by challenging it. It is about finding those beliefs which were established in a misguided way. Dysfunctional beliefs like these cause harm in that they allow people to misbehave and hurt others including ourselves. Some of us have been enabling these behaviors out of fear or guilt. Part of the shift into changing our lives for the better, giving ourselves permission to be happy and peaceful, is unplugging from these misguided beliefs. This is very hard for us to do for all the reasons I discussed earlier. But our souls want us to do it so as we procreate and build new families on healthy foundations with more empowered and supportive belief systems. Without these dysfunctional family beliefs and misbehaving family members, we are more emotionally mature humans who recognize we are imperfect perfection with tools and healthy thought patterns to heal ourselves and support our children to grow up as empowered adults. No more do we tether adults to dysfunctional family systems which drain them of life energy and drown out their core essence. That is not what the divine has planned for us. It isn't about us feeling victimized or blaming God or blaming our parents, etc....it is about taking authority over our own life and purpose....detaching. In many cases some members of a dysfunctional family might not understand any of this and that’s OK. It doesn’t always mean you will lose these family members completely, even though they are still stuck inside the dysfunction and you are helpless to free them. Just remember this, if you are in a place where choosing your soul means some of your family turns their back on you then it may be difficult to do but it may also need to be considered. So often we choose our family over our soul because our human programming includes a strong desire to feel like we belong to family. But in doing so we make ourselves miserable and the price we pay for the so- called peace we give the family is the peace we rob from ourselves.
In closing I want to make it clear that what I am writing is not a recommendation to say the hell with family. I don't mean that at all. It takes lots of processing and healing to get to a point to make a transformation. But unplugging and doing things aligned to your soul is really how we can change the world one person at a time and lead to a more peaceful planet and peaceful outlook leading to more rewarding lives, more love, more peace and harmony in the families to come. Changing your life one belief at a time allows you to shift your energy and lead by example. You will then live a life of more peace and joy. It may feel selfish but remember you are just as important as anyone else. None of us are more important than anyone else; after all we all have a soul. And as adults, it is our job to make choices for our children that are anchored in their souls.
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