"In this episode, Sheryl Worthington Turgeon of Your Health Potential talks to Intuitive, Spiritual Teacher and Energy Medicine Practitioner, Jessica Kozak of The Soul Purpose in Swansea Massachusetts. A registered Reiki Master-Teacher, Jessica has been doing Energy Healing for 15 years and is a certified Energy Medicine Practitioner. She also holds certifications in Aromatherapy, Herbalism, and Magnified Healing. Copyright, 2013 Your Health Potential."
We are all intuitive Beings. As a result of living in a Patriarchal Society, we have forgotten how to trust our intuition. In the past people were looked down upon, scorned, or even killed for using their intuitive abilities. It is no wonder that it is something that each of us has within but have ignored.
Within each of us is our own Divine Intuitive language. Not one of us is the same which means we receive our information slightly differently. Some of us may be more Clairvoyant or Clear Seeing, Clairsentient or Clear Feeling, or Clairaudient or Clear Hearing. Some of us are more primary in one area and through working and practicing you can develop abilities in other areas.
Intuition is something that we all have. Some of us seem to have been born more wired to be psychic or Intuitive, but that doesn’t mean that people who aren’t are lacking this ability. It just means it is out of practice. I have been Intuitive since a small child. I am primarily Clairsentient and Clairvoyant. It was perceived by my loved ones that I was Hyper-Sensitive. It was looked upon as a handicap or something unfortunate. I owned this belief and worked very hard to shut down my intuition. It re-surfaced again in my late teens and I was forced to look at it, and it has been in the past 20 years that I truly stepped out fully into my Intuitive abilities.
I am now offering a course called Tapping Into Your Divine Intuition which is based on my own experiences. in the course, I share what I have learned about how I receive information and work with my Intuition. While this may be completely different from person to person, you can use this class as a tool to tap into your own intuitive power, as it touches upon the similar gifts we all share, and how to use them.
Intuition speaks to us in a symbolic language at times. In order to develop your intuition you need to TRUST, and PRACTICE. It is like going to the gym and lifting weights. Your muscles start to get more defined and bigger! It is important to feel safe when you practice so participating with family members, friends, or Intuitive Circles is very helpful. For me, I started out by practicing my intuitive abilities while doing Reiki. It helped me learn to trust what I was receiving and not thinking it over too much. After a while I noticed more and more people were coming for a reading during their treatment rather than a treatment! So that is when I felt nudged to put out Angelic Guidance Readings and I haven’t looked back since.
You can use your own Intuitive language to receive guidance and wisdom in how to recreate your life, make decisions in alignment with your soul purpose, how to avoid sabotaging situations, and to recognize when you are in the right place. This is how your Intuition works for you! You can offer it to others to help them see their own divine guidance, but primarily it should be used firstly for yourself.
Here is an outline of topics and techniques addressed in the course:
Guidelines for Tapping into your Intuition:
1) Shielding techniques for protection.
2) Grounding and centering yourself through meditation.
3) Communicating – Ways to receive information from your intuition.
4) Ways to Communicate –Writing, Oracle cards, holding personal effects or human touch.
5) Closing the Session – How to cleanse your energy, bring your awareness back to your body and give thanks to the higher powers who guided you.
Click here to purchase the course guide. Or click here if you'd like to schedule an intuitive reading.
Shred10 is a 10 day program to help you shed bad habits. For more info contact Jessica at email@example.com and check out JuicePlus at:
The word Nurture means the process of caring for and encouraging the growth or development of someone or something. This word has come up consistently for me the past 15 years. Questions from healers, therapists....”Jessica do you Nurture yourself?” “How do you Nurture yourself?” You are a nurturer and must nurture yourself!” The one thing I knew to my core was that I did indeed nurture others. It comes natural to me. I nurture people, pets, plants, crystals, and the earth. Nurturing myself did not always come second nature to me. It felt foreign, and uncomfortable, and wrong. I also lied to myself and said, "Why of course I nurture myself. I get my nails done, I do things for myself, blah blah blah blah blahhhhhhhhhhh." If you asked me a year ago if I understood what nurturing myself was I would have said I did. I understood the concept. I even believed I nurtured myself. I now realize that I never really understood it within the core of my being until this past year.
I have personally been on an active spiritual journey for the past 23 years. I have made a career in working as a psychic medium and energy healer. I nurture people for a living and it gives me immense joy and a sense of fulfilled purpose in my life. Working in the realm of healing has also called to me to always search within and always work to better myself, learn and awaken, become more aware, then to go forth and share what I learned. I now take ownership of my limiting belief around nurturing and loving myself. It isn't that I never loved or nurtured myself at all....No.... what happened was throughout my life when I acknowledged that I needed to prioritize my self-care, I would somehow sabotage myself. Sometimes the sabotage would happen right away, sometimes it would happen 6 months or a year later in the form of old patterns creeping to the forefront and slowly taking over my newly loving patterns. Sneaking up on me like a slow poison so I didn't quite notice. The triggers usually were stressful events in my life that awakened fear in me. It stirred up my inner children who somehow freaked out and unconsciously I would start to sabotage myself as a way to protect me resulting in my creating of self-defeating behaviors. These behaviors were ways I would not nurture myself. It would be something as simple as starting to forget to take my vitamins and supplements that assist my body. It would be forgetting to pack my lunch for work and not eating then eating too much when I got home. It would be not making time for myself to go to the gym even though I actually enjoyed it and felt better when I did go. It would be eating foods that had soy, msg, or corn in it which my body has told me repeatedly it is sensitive to and doesn't like it. Other ways I would self-sabotage is by not honoring healthy boundaries in my life. I would often attract people or situations where I would be called to set boundaries for myself or confront unhealthy situations. Then when I would attempt to confront the dysfunction, a great fear would rise up that I wouldn't understand. The fear felt like it would kill me There is no other way to describe its crippling effect. It would knock out of me all my awareness and spiritual teachings and lead me to learned self-defeating behaviors such as avoidance, denial, anxiety, depression, people-pleasing disguised as peace-making, and shoving down my feelings and shutting my mouth. These behaviors were an insult to my core-self. A complete lie of who I really am which is why if felt so terrible. It made me sick and inside the real me was screaming to be fully unleashed. As a result of it making me feel terrible I tried to nurture the pain away with food and self-sabotage.
It was a year ago this came to a head in my life. Without getting deeply into personal life matters, I reached my breaking point and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Forty years of ignoring myself, sabotaging myself, having times where the real me surfaced and knowing how the true me felt then going back into hiding was just to much for me and thank goodness it was! I was brought to a point where I had to stop and look at myself and why I have allowed certain relationships in my life to have so much power over me. Why I never spoke up and allowed it, Why I couldn't let it continue. I had to pull back and take a huge time out! I didn't realize at the time but this was an act of love and self-nurturance at the time. I made the choice to disengage as a way to stop a pattern and pay attention to what was happening. I also knew I needed to work on myself, and my own strength before I could address this situation. It was, of course, not received well. In this process I have been supported by some, ignored by some, spoken about and whispered about and defriended by some who haven't spoken to me directly nor taken the time to want to see why I made the choice I did. They heard what they heard and made a judgment and that was that. I have been indirectly approached by some in a roundabout judgmental and manipulative way intended to guilt me and play into those old self-deprecating and self-defeating thoughts and behaviors. A few approached me directly trying to understand but showing more concern for how it was impacting the situation than how I was really feeling or what was going on with me. I had to process all this as well. I thank God for the people who stayed by me unconditionally, supporting me, holding me up, pushing me forward, taking the time to let me be heard and feel like what I was going through was important to them. Setting their own agendas aside and helping me process. These are my true soul friends here on this earth and I am so eternally grateful. I had to process through it all even my feelings surrounding the people I felt betrayed or hurt by, or who I had to retreat from, I now understand things better and don't blame them or dwell on them. I just realize that is what happens when Energy shifts....SHIFT HAPPENS!
In the past year I have prioritized myself and my health physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. Some may have perceived that I've done this it at the expense of others, I feel the real expense was the price I paid in the past by losing touch and ignoring my inner self at this expense. If there is no me then I can't be the Mother I need and want to be, the Healer I want to be, I can't be what I need for myself, my boyfriend, etc. After a whole year my patterns have changed, I feel a load lighter and my body is changing, I make time for myself, I am no longer afraid to look at my feelings and stand up for myself. I also can forgive myself for the part I have played and for losing myself in the process. Finding myself again was the best part and knowing I can keep the real me too! As I keep moving forward one day at a time it is still a process, a healing process, a spiritual process, a mental process, an emotional process. I feel stronger and feel I can move forward. As for my relationships I need to always honor my boundaries and myself, keep my spine strong so to speak; exuding out good will, forgiveness, and grace. Allowing my reactions and triggers to be transformed and accepting it all. Not having an agenda or attachment to how things should be or need to be or that others need to understand. We are all entitled to our perceptions and our perceptions are real to us. If they torture us then we need to take a warrior's path, taking the machete and cutting through the jungle of weeds and find, or create a new path. When the new path is created, it makes it easier for those needing guidance to find their path and maybe even go further.
I know many of us are feeling the unbalanced vibrations in our world that to me seem to be getting more and more intense each day. Being empathic it can be difficult for me to disengage from feeling things deeply. Especially seeing so much pain in the news and our world. I do admit to checking the news so I am not ignorant to what is going on but I do turn it off. I also don't stay on social media I just check in. This helps me to not get overwhelmed. Getting out in nature and playing with my flowers and dogs keeps me feeling centered. These are things that help me stay grounded and anchored in my own self. Going outside and connecting to the elements makes me connect to the earth and her gifts. I breathe in the air, look at the sea, the trees, and realize these elements which are wild and not bound in time have seen more than I have seen and it puts me in the moment with a sense of awe. Being sensitive I often can feel shifts as they are happening and it can hit as a anxious wave of feeling then I turn on the news and see what happened and that wave of feeling leaves but when I feel those energy waves honestly I cringe a little like bracing for a big wave to hit. I know many of you are feeling the same way.
In times of change there is often chaos, darkness, and things tend to go hugely out of balance. Also keeping to our own personal inner work is still hugely important to not lose sight of as it assists in raising the Earth's Consciousness. I have been praying a lot as it creates a feeling of peace within myself and a sense of contributing to the bigger web of energy that interconnects all of us and the earth and somehow this prayer passes into the storm that is raging in the world. Sending Grace, Calmness, Healing.....please join me in this prayer.
Working with the Angels is a very fulfilling and inspiring way to guide your life. I can’t imagine my life without them. My communication with them has evolved over time, but the what helped me to have an
intimate relationship with them was practicing their process called GRACE. Grace stands for Grounding, Releasing, Aligning, Conversing, and Enjoying the connection. This type of communication is in the book “Ask Your Angels” By: Alma Daniel, Timothy Wyllie, and Andrew Ramer. Once I started using the GRACE process I never looked back. It offers you a safe and loving way to receive divine guidance from the
The angels are always trying to communicate to us through our intuition. They don’t want us to live our lives as a victim to fate. From what they have told me is that many people go through life feeling that they are not in control of anything in their lives. That they are in the passenger seat of the car, and God is the one driving and making all the turns. According to the Angels and my guides this is not the case. We have the ability to co-create our life with God and be partly in control of our destiny. We can be the drivers of our life, and the angels our voice of intuition which is the GPS or navigational system. By tuning into their voices, they help us to make choices that are more supportive to our Soul’s Purpose.
Their voices are our lifeline to the divine; it connects us to our own divine essence within. Choosing to listen and follow their divine guidance will help your road be less bumpy. Not listening to them will often still lead us where we may need to go, but there will be a lot more traffic, road blocks, accidents, and pot holes. You would be more inclined to miss exits, and have to take many detours. Learning to tune into your navigational system of angelic guidance will allow you to take a path that is more paved to your purpose, with less bumps, and lots more short cuts. Tuning into our divine voice doesn’t mean we will never experience any tough experiences, or trying times, but it prepares us if it us something that is part of our earthly experience, helps us to find our center of peace so we don’t get sucked into the chaos and drama of earthly life. In our calm center it is much easier to hear our angels, maneuver our way through life manifesting our dreams, enjoying, and not living in fear. They help build your confidence, give you courage to break through your insecurities and fears. Fear and insecurity is often what holds us back, handcuffs us in unhappiness and discontentment. The angels always tell me when I am facing something “Jessica, what would you do if you weren’t afraid, or had no fear?” Always the answer is underneath the fear. We usually ignore it out of fear and retreat to what we perceive as safety or what we see as being comfortable even though it isn’t filling our hearts or nourishing our spirit. When we receive authentic divine guidance, it may push us a little, it may create some anxiety within. This isn’t the angels giving us anxiety, it is our own fears, and a war within of resistance to what we know we should do. The angels will give you the guidance and grounded steps to follow through.
They never tell you to do something that will create hurt and chaos in your life. They give you steps to do it in the most creative way. Often gently easing you into something. The more often we ignore their promptings, the more and more we may feel uneasy, out of balance, depressed, anxious. Many times in my life when I finally make the decision to move forward with the prompting, then my anxiousness lifts. It is our fear of not trusting in the universe and fighting against ourselves that really creates such havoc on our spirits and human experience.
The angels can communicate to us in many ways. Some people are more visual or clairvoyant, some are more feeling or clairsentient, some are more audio or clairaudient. I am primarily Clairsentient and Clairvoyant. You can be a blend. Some people receive messages through automatic writing, drawing, singing, impressions, or a knowing as if something just dropped in out of nowhere. There is no right or wrong way to receive messages. Many of us often don’t realize how intuitive we are as we don’t trust our messages, or don’t realize we are receiving them. We each have our own unique way of communicating with the angels.
The only way to learn it, to fine tune it, understand the messages, is to practice it and trust it. Then one day you may stop and say “Wow I was right about that!”, or “I am glad I followed that hunch to not get into this relationship”, or “I am glad I decided to follow my heart and wrote as writing my story has been so healing and may help others”, or “I am so happy I started my dream business part-time, as it helped me to trust, give me confidence that I could do it, and gave me the courage that I could do and eventually leave my full time job which wasn’t my heart’s desire”. Your angels always support you and love you unconditionally. They will never judge you. Only we judge ourselves, and the critical voice inside only belongs to our EGO. It only stops us from doing the soul work we were sent here to do. Don’t give it that power over you. It is never too late to start anything as everything is always in divine timing. We can’t change anything in our histories, but we can ask the angels to send light to the past to help lighten up our burdens, and to help us to enjoy the moment and walk with them into the future.
Feel free to contact Jessica at firstname.lastname@example.org with questions or feedback.
All of us are bright, beautiful, divine souls each with our own unique essence and purpose here on Earth. I like many of you have had my own journey with my own wounds. Our wounds don't define us even though it can feel like it. The challenge is to rise beyond its description of ourselves. Not one person has the right to disregard or dismiss your experiences for any reason, not one person has the right to judge or criticize your experiences or tell you how to feel, how to be, or how to think. No one has lived in your body or experienced your life. Our journey is between us and the Divine. We all come from the same source but we come here as individuated souls experiencing being human and bridging our lower selves with our higher selves. We experience Heaven and Hell here on this planet. I myself have been afraid at times in this life to journey into my darker places....avoiding it and staying in my old familiar roles...playing small or keeping my mouth shut and being a good little girl. I realized I got called on this path of doing the healing work I do not just to assist others but to assist and heal myself as well. I realized as I stepped into the dark caverns, caves and tunnels with the light of my soul as my guide it wasn't as scary or intimidating as it always appeared to be. That Fire breathing dragon in there really only wanted me to come in and rub her belly and cuddle with her for a while. She had a lot to tell me and I realized the fear was all but a mirage. As I ventured in deeper my light guiding my way I realized what had power over me really just wanted to have a discussion and while being in my dark healing cave I found myself at its molten core all hot and firey with a lot of wisdom for myself...allowing me to move forward fearlessly and with courage. I was only afraid of myself and my own power. Our life can beat us up at times, our emotions and feelings victimize us, but ultimately we just need to go into ourselves, diving headfirst into the pain and making friends with it and learning that each of us has something special to offer the world, beyond the pain there is hope, and peace, the journey there takes work and devotion but so worth it. Our world needs more of us to do this as we are in a state of Divine Chaos and darkness. Everyone is feeling the energy out there and reacting to it. I have reacted to it, but I also have had to stop, breathe, and anchor into my core and pray for the world and for all of the lights of our souls to triumph and guide us through the dark into the light. This concludes part 1 of this 2 part blog post.
Feel free to contact Jessica at email@example.com with questions or feedback.
What is the purpose of life? I, like so many other people have struggled with this concept for much of my life. Because I believe our souls exist in a peace filled place of love, higher understanding, fun and bliss, where our souls come to this earthly plane to live a temporary human life, I can’t help but wonder why would our souls choose to do this? What exactly are our souls like before the limits of earthly incarnation? Why do our souls come to earth to long for love, feel pain, be challenged or be hurt when it can exist without experiencing these wounds? As a young child I prayed to understand, for myself, for others, and for the world, why people were made to suffer. Then when I came to understand that our souls made the choice to suffer an earthly existence and my confusion deepened, I gave more thought to my own life, my soul and the individuals in my life. I began to question why people were tempted by material things, relationships that hurt them, or why they sometimes feel obligated to make choices that go against what their souls know is best for them by sacrificing their soul’s very essence, be it out of fear or to please others. At times I felt a sense of clarity in regard to my thoughts, as if my prayers for answers were being answered. Other times my confusion deepened. Other times I felt I received a direct answer to a personal question with guidance to take a specific action in my own life. However, I often failed to make these changes because I was too frightened and insecure in my earthly existence. From my years of experience in personal practice I realize that I am not alone in this failure to take action. In fact many people feel stuck in their lives; as if they are in some type of sludge that is preventing them from experiencing peace, grace and harmony. And so, the question of why the soul chooses an earthly existence which is filled with so many intense challenges is not just intriguing on a spiritual level but it also extremely a personal question each one of us should ask about our own existence. What is my soul’s purpose during this earthly incarnation?
As those of you who know me understand the topic of the soul on earth is one that I am incredibly interested and excited about. It would take a few books for me to touch on all of my thoughts on this matter, however because this is a blog, I will keep this discussion short and focused. But do keep in mind there are many different scenarios and topics I will not mention here at all. To further explain the impact the concept of the soul’s purpose has had on my life (besides the name of my company) I would like to explain a bit about myself. In my personal life I have been doing deep soul work for at least 20 years through the study of many texts from more modern Self-help authors, texts of the Saints and doctors of the church, to spiritual and metaphysical texts. I have studied Psychology in college, taken Energy Medicine training and much more. Without doubt, however, the most transformational experiences for me have been when I was tested in life and experienced deep pain. It is this pain that made me search for answers. It was the pain that made me understand that there has to be more in our purpose than I knew of. It was through this pain that I came to realize that, as I call it now, there is more - In there! – for all of us. Yes, I had to go within to find some truth. It wasn't the truth I was expecting. It was not quite what I thought I would find. Talk about being tested! All the studying awakened something inside but until I had the courage to ask and truly listen was when I was enlightened to some things. I truly have come to realize that God does understand and has compassion for our pain but he also knows we are so much more than our pain.
To begin my discussion I will start with a quick look at being ourselves on earth and how our souls fit into our everyday lives. In our daily world there are times we feel good, have a sense of peace and then maybe we go to work and we lose our peace. You may get triggered by a co-worker, friend, family member, spouse, etc. It could be even a significant irritation that sets you off or a minor slight but the end result is the same; you no longer have your peace. Yes, we have all learned over our lives that it is hard to maintain high levels of peace in this world even if you have read 100 self-help books teaching about light and love, forgiveness and detachment and you get it! Yes, you study being peaceful and it’s like - “ Yes! Aha!” – and then you have to spend the holiday with a difficult parent or your in-laws and your peace goes down the toilet. So what does our soul have to do with all of this? Well our soul is trying to help us find peace which, as you can imagine, in this crazy world with all the people in it is not an easy job. The soul is also challenged by each and every one of us because we are human, and being human means we have our good points and we also have all the opposites that come with it. So while we are on the road to peace we have to battle our own impatience, bad feelings, prejudices etc. Believe it or not it is our own failings that often bring us to earth in the first place. The soul chooses an earthly incarnation to better us, to learn our negative traits and choose to align ourselves with peace. On the soul level we have all of eternity and no concept of time in a place of timelessness to work on this process which means we can experience earthly incarnations many times. Although earthly incarnation can serve many specific purposes, they generally help accelerate our soul evolution. It also assists souls in understanding or experiencing emotion and love.
Another concept to understand when considering the soul’s purpose on earth is the theory of Karma. The traditional meaning of Karma is; “ The sum of a person's actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences.” Karma can also be explained as fate or destiny as in - what you reap, you sow and so forth. There is also the common view that if you put out good, you will attract good and conversely, if you do bad, you will attract bad. I believe there is some level of truth to this although I also think we attract things to our life from the level of our heart meaning people with a “blocked/wounded heart/feeling” attract negative things. I feel that people get into trouble when they leave their heart space so to speak. For this blog, however, I am going to discuss Karma through the way it has been explained to me through the meditations of my soul. For the sake of not using a word with a lot of predetermined meaning attached to it I will use a different term; dysfunctional patterns or dysfunctional loyalties. I am also going to talk about more than individual karma. For example: Traditional karma is if you steal $20 that you see fall out of someone's pocket while they are walking in front of you and then a week later you lose $20. In this blog I am going to discuss Karmic patterns which are negative or dysfunctional patterns that have been perpetuated in family systems for generations. These patterns perpetuate over and over to the point that family systems accept them and it becomes normal to them when from a soul perspective or from the perspective of the outside looking in, it is quite easy to see how dysfunctional these patterns are. To those born into or living in these patterns their acceptance becomes unconscious because it is accepted so early in life. In other words, children living in abusive homes come to accept abusive treatment on some level be it mental, emotional or physical abuse.
Okay, so now let us take a look at a soul beginning an earthly incarnation. We are born a perfect beautiful soul. Each of us born has a Soul Purpose, the qualities that are our gift and uniqueness of our soul, and a Life Purpose, is the medium we choose to express this Soul Essence. Our purpose on earth could be anything, it could be to become a president of a non-profit corporation or to being a volunteer at a soup kitchen; no one purpose better than the other. Whatever our purpose, it is what makes us most peaceful and blissful. We are also born with other purposes and challenges to face. Thankfully, we all have within us all the strength and power we need to fulfill our soul’s purposes in this lifetime. For example, within us we are wired to disentangle ourselves from dysfunctional patterns and loyalties that drain our energy and spirit so that we can keep “on purpose.” When our soul gets to earth we are typically born to a mother and father and into a family. Over time the beliefs of this family system, including generational beliefs, get downloaded like a computer program into our energy system. As we live our life we are faced with challenges that often block us from our Life Purpose and Soul Purpose. When we get too caught up in these challenges or, off purpose, by setting our life aside to accommodate some type of dysfunction then we will feel depression, anxiety, and unease. This is because our soul does not care about the things that challenge us such as material things, dysfunctional relationships and other things we may be attached to. The soul exists in a realm of unconditional love and detachment. The soul’s primary concern is that we follow our Soul's Purpose in the most unconditional loving way we can. It does not concern itself with our loyalties to dysfunctional patterns or other earthly things and challenges that are not heavenly at all. Thank goodness we have spirit guides and loved ones who assist us. These special influences understand our earthly struggles, see the soul and encourage us to make changes according to Divine will.
Let’s now take a look at how the family can hinder the soul and its purpose. Our world has, for thousands of years, perpetuated generations of dysfunction. There are abuses in families such as is sexual abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse and spiritual abuse. There are also negative core beliefs that devalue our sense of worth and ability to feel loved such as a less than perfect child must be constantly criticized to improve. In cases of these types of dysfunctions, it often happens that the behavior continues from one generation to the next. The family members may know some or part of the stories that took place in the past yet they continue to become victims of the dysfunction, feeling helpless to change anything. Family members are often told not to discuss the problem and to just accept it as it is what it is. Often times we can see or feel how wrong our situation is, but we can do nothing about it. Eventually we have our own families and one day we come to realize we recreated these situations with our own spouses and children! And so it goes on and on! You know, we know on a conscious level that we want a better life, our soul comes to earth to evolve, and we have a worthy purpose to pursue, yet we get stuck in this flypaper of dysfunction.
So, why don’t we simply break away from the family dysfunction? Our belief system is a major reason. We have beliefs like “Blood is thicker than water “and “Keep the peace for the sake of the family”. These familiar family beliefs often keep us pressured to stay in dysfunctional cycles. To keep the peace we allow ourselves to be treated badly while enabling bad behavior in some of our family members. This is because you know if you stand up for yourself it is you who will typically be judged as the “bad one.” Other family members will guilt you into buying back into these dysfunctional patterns rather than changing or challenging a family structure. The threat that breaking free of family dysfunction may mean losing some if not all of your family is what keeps so many of us trapped in an unhappy and unfulfilling existence. But remember that not all families are dysfunctional and not all members within a family are dysfunctional. Like you, other members of your family may see the truth. Many of us have family members who are our biggest heroes and supporters. The point is this, for the generational dysfunction to end it has to start with change and that change has to begin with someone. That someone may need to be you. Yes, some of us are sent here to try to break the patterns. It starts with being born into dysfunction. As we age and struggle to free ourselves of it, we get stuck in the flypaper again and again and nothing gets accomplished. Eventually though, if you look deep inside yourself you will find the strength you need to free yourself. I know it sounds difficult but in time our soul can get through and initiate a change. It takes great courage and an ability to accept one's truth regardless of anyone's support. You can support yourself; you always have the power within to do that…always. For this blog I am not going to get into the dysfunctions which need to be challenged as the purpose of this blog is to offer some insight not to recommend dramatic change overnight. I am just asking for you to take some time to look at yourself, your life and your family and consider how these dynamics are impacting your life journey.
For the record, this blog is not about challenging family beliefs because I will say this....you will never win against a core belief plugged into an existing family by challenging it. It is about finding those beliefs which were established in a misguided way. Dysfunctional beliefs like these cause harm in that they allow people to misbehave and hurt others including ourselves. Some of us have been enabling these behaviors out of fear or guilt. Part of the shift into changing our lives for the better, giving ourselves permission to be happy and peaceful, is unplugging from these misguided beliefs. This is very hard for us to do for all the reasons I discussed earlier. But our souls want us to do it so as we procreate and build new families on healthy foundations with more empowered and supportive belief systems. Without these dysfunctional family beliefs and misbehaving family members, we are more emotionally mature humans who recognize we are imperfect perfection with tools and healthy thought patterns to heal ourselves and support our children to grow up as empowered adults. No more do we tether adults to dysfunctional family systems which drain them of life energy and drown out their core essence. That is not what the divine has planned for us. It isn't about us feeling victimized or blaming God or blaming our parents, etc....it is about taking authority over our own life and purpose....detaching. In many cases some members of a dysfunctional family might not understand any of this and that’s OK. It doesn’t always mean you will lose these family members completely, even though they are still stuck inside the dysfunction and you are helpless to free them. Just remember this, if you are in a place where choosing your soul means some of your family turns their back on you then it may be difficult to do but it may also need to be considered. So often we choose our family over our soul because our human programming includes a strong desire to feel like we belong to family. But in doing so we make ourselves miserable and the price we pay for the so- called peace we give the family is the peace we rob from ourselves.
In closing I want to make it clear that what I am writing is not a recommendation to say the hell with family. I don't mean that at all. It takes lots of processing and healing to get to a point to make a transformation. But unplugging and doing things aligned to your soul is really how we can change the world one person at a time and lead to a more peaceful planet and peaceful outlook leading to more rewarding lives, more love, more peace and harmony in the families to come. Changing your life one belief at a time allows you to shift your energy and lead by example. You will then live a life of more peace and joy. It may feel selfish but remember you are just as important as anyone else. None of us are more important than anyone else; after all we all have a soul. And as adults, it is our job to make choices for our children that are anchored in their souls.
Do you feel you are an Empath or have you seen the world around you and wondered what it really means? Empaths are psychic individuals who read their environment by absorbing the energy around them through their energy field. An empath's energy field has the ability to open like a human colander as they release their energy and then absorb the energy of the person, place, or group energy they are in the presence of. Sounds like a pretty cool super power! It can be cool if utilized appropriately but most of us who are highly sensitive would often disagree. It's like draining a pool and refilling it with polluted water. That's why Empath's can often feel drained or tired. If you are an Empath, the trick is that you must first learn how to release what you pull in, while then learning how to call your own energy back into yourself. Many Empath's have been told they are too sensitive, too compassionate or too emotional. Empath's typically don't like big crowded places like a shopping mall, a stadium or a crowded theatre. They often confuse their anxiety and emotions to be about themselves, as if they have a shortcoming, when in reality they are just very attuned to the energies around them and feeling that disturbance via their own emotional field. Simply put, an Empath is highly susceptible to absorbing other people's feelings and pains, albeit conscious
or unconscious. Often, an Empath is born with a capacity for deep sensitivity and acute intuition, which makes them more prone to being an internalizer of their emotions. They become sensitive to the environment(s) they are in....at home, at school, or in their neighborhood, as they slowly learn to shape shift their energy field to accommodate others over the course of time. They can feel when someone is angry, sad, happy, hurt and often their own peace and joy becomes contingent upon how the other person they are in relationship is feeling, be it a parent, spouse, etc.
I have been an Empath since I was a little girl. I always though it was a bad thing being told I was sensitive. I was sensitive because I wasn't able to manage my empathy. I couldn't even handle my Eeyore stuffed animal from Winnie the Pooh because he looked so sad it made me cry! I grew up always being attuned to what the people around me were feeling, what their moods were, which caused me to constantly feel the need to help them, which I often did. What ends up happening, however, is that you lose sight of your own needs and become to focused on the needs of others as a way of finding peace in your surroundings, even at the cost of yourself. It can become difficult to understand where one person's emotional field ends and yours begins. Boundaries become skewed.
It takes knowledge and healing to move into what I called being a Skilled Empath. I had a momentous experience for myself while in Energy Medicine School. I was practicing an addiction healing with a fellow classmate. I was required to give her the healing, so I asked her what addiction she would like me to focus on. She wanted me to plug into her overeating habits. So I did my thing and began the healing. As I layed my hands on her, in that moment we became like E.T. and Elliot in the movie E.T. The Extraterrestrial! All of a sudden, I felt such despair and pain! I truly felt all of her loneliness, how it made her feel isolated, and how her overeating provided her with a temporary feeling of relief, because in her mind, food had become her only friend. I started to hyper-ventilate and cry, as I absorbed the intensity of her feelings into my being. The next thing I remembered was my teacher running over and literally grabbing me and dragging me to other side of the room, which allowed the intensity of the pain to subside. She looked at me and said:
“Jessica you have a gift, you are an Empath but you will never help anyone if you drown in their pain with them.”
The light bulb went off....Ooohhhhhhhhhhh....Duuuhhhhhhhh!!! I got it! I realized I not only felt her pain but I was feeling my own...I wouldn't have been able to have any empathy without keeping control of my own emotional barometer. I always feel things to the depths of my soul and just can't imagine it being any other way! I have since learned that I don't need to to drown in another's pain, I don't need to take it on or even be the one to heal it. I just have to be present to someone, to let them know and understand that I hear their
pain. This starts the process of facilitating and assisting them to release their pain and find peace, or even be with the pain if they need to experience it at that time. It isn't my place to judge it or take the experience from them. I can be a loving supportive presence and that is the gift. I can also be a loving supportive presence to myself
when I experience emotional pain. There is a lot to learn in that. Being able to keep a healthy boundary has been much better for me to manage my own energy field. I am stronger and more
empowered for it as a result. Do I still fall into the Empathy pit? You betcha!!
Here are some tips that I have found very useful to help myself, when I overdo my Empathy or know that I am going to be in an environment where it is difficult for me to manage my field.
1) I take lots of salt baths with essential oils or I use salt scrubs if I don't have the time to soak. Salt is very purifying to an empath's energy field.
2) I use meditation and visualization. One image I envision is the light growing and exuding from my heart and beaming lights from the inside out through the holes in my energy field, (which happen from unskilled empathy) then sealing them off and healing them.
3) I pray a lot and ask for assistance and guidance.
4) I use a lot of Selenite....This is a great stone for Empath's...I hold it in my palm and it seems to help lift and purify the energy field.
5) I get Energy Healing from practitioners I trust.
6) I go outside and touch the earth, a tree, the dirt...This is very healing and soothing for me. I love all the elements and each seem to offer healing for me.
Jessica teaches the “How to be a Skilled Empath” workshop. For more info contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org